OddTweak's Page

Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.
(unknown )

Some of you may have already been warned of this.....

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.

Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned m… Continue

At the end of the tax year, the local IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. "What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question", noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a completely practi… Continue

An old man walks into the local Church and says to the secretary, 'I would like to join this damn church.'

The astonished woman replies, 'I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?'

'Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!'

'I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church.' The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not h… Continue

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing st… Continue